A few random thoughts about the three finalists in this past weekend’s American Crossword Puzzle Tournament…
• I think DC Comics should create a new superhero called Hinman. His uniform would be a black t-shirt and a maroon cap and his superpowers would be an over-developed temporal lobe, an aura of invincibility and a right hand that moves at lightning speed.
• Trip’s quest to be sure he was wearing totally soundproof headgear in the final was yet another example of the integrity and sportsmanship the top competitors display every year, Trip especially.
• The one thing I’ll remember most about Francis Heaney’s solving effort was early on when he entered a 7-letter secondary character from classical literature in the lower left, with no crossings to help him. Merl’s comment captured the moment when he said: “You see, Francis seems to know the actual stuff that we have to look up.” Francis was also wearing the nicest tie.
• Crossword solving is obviously not a sport. 1. None of the competitors use steroids. 2. They’re all honest (see above). 3. They don’t spit while competing. 4. They don’t get paid millions. 5. The finals they compete in couldn’t possibly bring hundreds of spectators jumping to their feet cheering and clapping wildly. Oh, wait a second, now I’m confused.
Actually, I was using steroids this weekend.
I knew it!