121. Will the Real Steve Please Stand Up

Which of these is a real except from the original All About Steve screenplay (one really is):

119. Gadzooks! Le Tour

The Good Old Days: This year’s Tour de France was packed with drama, but it pales in comparison to the second-ever Tour in 1904. During the first of its six stages, four masked men in a car attacked two of the favorites. On the second day, 200 fans of one rider tried to block his pursuers. Nails were thrown onto the road in the fifth stage. In the end, 73 of the 88 riders were disqualified, including several who hopped aboard a car or train during the race.

Photo at right: For the climactic Mont Ventoux stage of this year’s race, Tour organizers showed their sense of humor by placing a giant syringe at the summit of the climb.

Tour Quiz: Three different riders wore the yellow jersey in this year’s Tour de France. Here’s a quick quiz using their last names:

1. CANCELLARA: Find three common six-letter words that can be spelled reading his name from left to right (letters can be skipped).
2. NOCENTINI: Find two words, each of which can be spelled using eight of the nine letters in his name.
3. CONTADOR: Find two words, each of which can be spelled using seven of the eight letters in his name. And can you find a six-letter word reading from left to right (letters can be skipped)?

Answers in the comments.

113. The Green Weenie

Watching the Steelers fans with their Terrible Towels on Super Bowl Sunday reminded me of an even stranger item that Pittsburgh fans would wave when I lived there in the late ’60s — The Green Weenie.

105. Gadzooks! Coffee Ceremony

While enjoying a Thanksgiving family gathering at my mother’s house, I discovered a 1945 edition of Emily’s Post Etiquette on her bookshelf. On page 409 was a coffee ceremony “fad” I hadn’t come across for my book, Coffee Time (cowritten by Helene Hovanec). I’m including it here in case it’s of use for an upcoming holiday or bankruptcy party:

103. Gadzooks! La Belle Rebelle

“As soon as the coast was clear I crossed the court-yard and made the best of my way to my own room, and took down in cipher every-thing I heard which seemed to me of any importance.”

Thus writes Belle Boyd, nicknamed La Belle Rebelle, a 17-year-old Confederate spy during the Civil War.

102. Gadzooks! Election Day Specials

What better way to remember our past commanders in chief than with these “fine” products from the online stores of their libraries. Yes, there is a puzzle book, compliments of LBJ.

JFK thimble: $5  LBJ activity book:$2  Nixon/Elvis pen: $3
Ford apron: $36  Carter pillow: $25  Reagan beanie: $15
GHWB signed photo: $500  Clinton “Socks” kitty jacket: $53

64. Gadzooks! Coffee

I’ve just gotten word there’s a short clip from a coffee game show pilot! on YouTube. The production values are a bit iffy, but I must admit I like the sponsor mentioned at the end.

59. Gadzooks! Wrestling

Just in time for the holidays — Ruthless Aggression and Pay Per View action figures!

Now kids can reenact the violence and mayhem of professional wrestling 24 hours a day in the warmth of their own homes (lead pipe and metal chair battling accessories sold separately).

Among the many figures available are 1. Super Crazy, 2. Ron “The Truth” Killings, and 3. Royal Rumble Melina.

And don’t forget your 4. Crash and Bash Playset and Cage!

Looking for something with a more intellectual slant? How about the duo of 5. Leaping Poffo the Wrestling Poet and 6. I.R.S. (Irwin R. Schyster). Playtime doesn’t get any better than this!

50. Gadzooks! Kindness

Today is World Kindness Day. Drat! I had plans to be ornery today, so I guess those are kaput. And I see here on the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation’s calendar that it extends for a whole week!

40. Gadzooks! Nixon

The Richard Nixon Library online store brings new meaning to the word “puzzling” by offering an array of gifts and memorabilia that seem likely to amuse both friend and foe alike. It includes everything from a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle of a 1970 Nixon and Elvis meeting ($19.95) to a birdhouse replica of his boyhood home ($45.00) to a paper doll book of the First Family ($5.95).

Other customized Nixon items: yo-yo ($3); mug with a photo of Nixon bowling at the White House ($6); Nixon/Schwarzenegger keychain with the Arnold quote “I’m a Republican because of Richard Nixon” ($4); and much more, including golf balls, lapel pins, caps, mouse pads, magnets, t-shirts, playing cards, coin purses, and Christmas ornaments.